So, it’s the coming up on Burning Man. I realize on holidays. Jews light candles. Candles have fire. Fire makes geeks twitch. We should have a Menorah Lighting Invitational. Here are some basic Menorah lighting techniques:
Roman Menorah: To commemorate the fireworks between Jews and Rome, simply replace the original candles with Roman candles.
Rocket Menorah: Simple but effective. Replace the boring candles with model rocket engines.Mounted upside down, they should make an impressive but short flame. In a rig to mount them right side up, meaning with thrust causing lift, you could see the mythical Flying Menorah.
Menorah and Lox: Lox is a favorite food of many Jews. Use cups filled with Lox and light. I might be a good idea to stand a bit back for this one.
Acetylene Menorah: A series of tubes makes a simple nine headed acetylene torch. This indoor favorite can heat your entire house.
Dry Ice Menorah: Instead of flame, just add water. Another indoor favorite, you can place blocks into the cups for a long lasting Menorah or you can shave the dry ice for a rapid transition to mist.
Salt Water Menorah: Really, just add lots of RF before lighting the water on fire.
Mixed-Marriage Menorah: For all those marriages that are Christian and Jewish, try a Christmas Tree Menorah. Larry actually does these occasionally, for Clan McDude.
Remember, your mileage and maiming may vary. Please do not attempt if you have no clue.
2 comments ↓
On a slightly more reverent note, I’d say it was the Crate & Barrel people who had no clue. You’re supposed to let the candles burn all the way down. Duh.
Now, how long do you think it will take before I am forwarded this post, changed slightly but still recognizable, in an email from my dad? I’d say within the year.
I’d agree that Crate & Barrel showed remarkable little clue. I can hear the marketer now, “Use them! These are decorative! They weren’t supposed to use them!”
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